splat
Script created with Final Draft by Final Draft, Inc.
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Splat!
FADE IN:
EXT. INDOOR PAINTBALL FACILITY - AFTERNOON
A large indoor paintball course dominates the roadside.
Several cars are parked outside, while various posters
advertising paintball equipment fill the windows.
EDDIE BROCK stands outside. He wears all black and has a
duffle bag in his hand, which he sets down beside him.
EDDIE
Tell a woman 10:30 and she thinks
be as late as possible.
He reaches into his bag and produces a rather nice paintball
gun. He checks the hose and some of the gauges. Everything
seems to be in order.
A bus pulls up. Eddie looks on in anticipation as a few
people get off. He frowns for a moment as the flow seems to
stop, then smiles when he sees who he's looking for.
GWEN steps off the bus and looks around nervously. She sees
Eddie who flashes her a cheesy smile.
GWEN
Been waiting long?
EDDIE
All my life, except on Tuesdays.
Gwen shakes her head.
GWEN
That's it?
EDDIE
Well, we are in public, but if you
want...
Gwen smacks him on the arm.
EDDIE
If that's all you've got, you're in
trouble.
GWEN
Well, the rent-a-dad is a cop. He
took me to the range a couple
times. Said I was a natural, so
maybe you're the one in trouble.
As she says this a car pulls into the parking lot. Driving is
CRAIG WATSON. MARY JANE and PETER are in the back.
The car comes to a stop and they step out.
EDDIE
Ready for carnage?
PETER
I wouldn't go that far. It's been a
while since I've done this.
EDDIE
It's like riding a bike, dude. You
try, fall, and get hurt.
GWEN
That's not like riding a bike.
EDDIE
Huh. Never was my thing.
(then)
You guys ready?
Slight reactions from the others.
EDDIE
Sweet. Time to shoot 'em all and
let God sort 'em out!
GWEN
You are having way too much fun
with this.
EDDIE
I know, isn't it great?
The four of them walk toward the entrance. Eddie holds open
the door for Gwen and Mary Jane. As Gwen passes, Eddie gives
her a quick slap on the behind. She jumps.
GWEN
What the hell?!
Eddie points at Peter with his best attempt at a serious
look. Gwen stomps on his foot.
EDDIE
Ow!
Gwen smiles and continues inside, Eddie not far behind.
INT. PAINTBALL COURSE - FRONT - MOMENTS LATER
The facility is abuzz with activity. Gwen and Eddie can be
seen in the distance at the gun counter.
Peter stands alone, peering out the window in silence.
MARY JANE (O.S.)
What you looking at?
PETER
Just thinking.
MARY JANE
How are you holding up?
PETER
Okay, I guess. It's tough.
MARY JANE
I know. I wish there was something
I could do to help.
Peter turns to her.
PETER
You are helping.
MARY JANE
Oh? How's that?
PETER
You're here, aren't you?
MARY JANE
Yeah, sorry. If I'd have known what
he had in mind I'd have warned you.
Apparently paintball is his idea of
distraction.
PETER
He's Eddie, I'm not sure it's safe
to know what's going on inside his
head.
Mary Jane laughs.
PETER
You know, Uncle Ben would have
liked to have seen this. I just
wish he could have...
EDDIE (O.S.)
All right, listen up pansy's!
Peter and Mary Jane turn and find Eddie standing before them,
looking like a character straight out of Waterworld.
He carries a paintball gun in each hand, wears football pads
on his shoulders, and has strips of black paint on his face.
He also wears a life jacket, spray painted black, around his
neck and an aluminum-covered motorcycle helmet.
PETER
Except this. This part I would
leave out.
EDDIE
This is the way it's gonna work,
dudes versus dames!
MARY JANE
Eddie...
EDDIE
Be silent!
(beat)
Good. Now, you two will be
defending while Pete and I attack,
so you'll have an advantage on us.
Eddie tosses two (much smaller) guns to the girls.
GWEN
Oh, come on!
EDDIE
T-16. They're good guns.
Eddie tosses a gun over to Peter.
EDDIE
That's the Count, take care of him.
PETER
Yeah, no problem. I wish I could
have found mine.
EDDIE
You have one?
PETER
Somewhere. Probably in the attic. I
don't know if it still works.
Eddie nods. He looks over at the girls. He turns a knob and
there's a hiss as the pressure is released into the gun.
EDDIE
We're going to destroy them.
INT. PAINTBALL COURSE
Game on. "On A Wave" by Ash plays as the two teams go their
seperate ways, ducking and dodging behind various obsticals.
Paintballs whizz by in both directions.
Peter and Eddie quickly duck behind a wall, bursts of paint
splat all around them, forcing them to take cover.
EDDIE
Gwen wasn't lying.
PETER
Actually, I think that's MJ.
Eddie sticks his head out, paint balls whizzing past.
EDDIE
Yep. Damn.
INT. PAINTBALL COURSE - BEHIND OTHER WALL
Mary Jane and Gwen are doing pretty well on their own,
holding down the fort, so to speak.
GWEN
Think you can hold them down?
MARY JANE
Oh yeah. They're not going
anywhere.
A few shots are returned, forcing Mary Jane to duck for
cover. She stands and fires back their way.
GWEN
I'm gonna see if I can sneak
around.
BACK ON PETER AND EDDIE.
Peter is peering around the side of the wall.
PETER
It's just her. Where's Gwen?
EDDIE
She's distracting us. Probably
sneaking around somewhere.
Eddie peers around, noticing Gwen sneaking by.
EDDIE
Sneaky little chipmunk.
PETER
She can't hit both of us.
EDDIE
I'll go after Gwen, you see if you
can sneak around.
PETER
What if one of us is hit?
EDDIE
Make a sound like a dying giraffe.
PETER
What?
Eddie doesn't stop to explain. He breaks from his cover and
begins maneuvering forward. Peter waits, then breaks himself.
INT. THE COURSE - CONTINUOUS
Eddie sees Gwen duck behind a wall.
Peter leaps over a wall just as several balls of paint
splatter against the wood. He takes a deep breath, then rolls
out and returns fire.
Eddie ducks into a small alcove.
Gwen pops up from above and puts three balls straight into
Eddie's helmet. He collapses.
EDDIE
Damnit!
He falls onto his back and starts making an atrocious noise.
GWEN
What the hell are you doing?
MARY JANE (O.S.)
Gwen!
Gwen turns around just in time to see Peter behind her.
He pulls the trigger.
The next thing she knows, she's covered in yellow paint.
GWEN
Great.
EDDIE
Score!
Suddenly, Peter's SENSE kicks in. He quickly ducks out of the
way as four paintballs splatter onto a nearby wall.
He leaps behind another wall.
He peeks around the corner, spotting Mary Jane running around
another nearby obstacle. He stands and gives chase.
He reaches the spot and finds Mary Jane kneeling down,
peering around the side of the wall.
Peter takes aim and pulls the trigger.
Nothing happens.
Mary Jane quickly turns. She fires, hitting Peter directly in
the chest.
MARY JANE
We win!
Peter looks down at the gun and realizes there's a slow leak
in the hose. Eddie walks over to him and looks at the gun.
EDDIE
Dude!
Peter shrugs.
PETER
Your gun.
Eddie flips up his visor.
EDDIE
My bad. Didn't mean to give you a
gun that was gonna go all Hendrix.
Peter looks at the gun for a moment. He pulls the trigger and
a slight pop is heard. He looks over it, examining the hose
and the tanks curiously.
EDDIE
Sorry ladies, party's over. Ain't
gotta go home, but you can't stay
here!
Peter smiles as he looks at the gun. He pulls up his sleeve
and measures with his fingers the length of the hose. He
smiles again and pulls his sleeve down.
GWEN
Maybe it's a good thing, I'm
starved.
EDDIE
I could go for a burger.
GWEN
What part of vegetarian don't you
understand?
EDDIE
Moo!
Gwen rolls her eyes.
GWEN
Gross.
EDDIE
You game, Pete?
Peter looks up from the gun.
PETER
Yeah. Sounds good.
EDDIE
Sweet. Food it is.
They begin to walk away, all except Peter, who is still
fixated on the gun, continuing to size it up.
Off his curious gaze:
FADE OUT.
THE END
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Script created with Final Draft by Final Draft, Inc.