"Wasted"

                                                               FADE IN:

               INT. PARKER HOME - PETER'S ROOM

               PETER stands, looking out his window. He lets out a heavy
               sigh, turns around and looks at the door. EDDIE is standing
               in the doorway, dirty and disheveled.

                                   PETER
                         You don't want to do this.

               Eddie doesn't really respond. He looks down at the ground,
               then back at Peter and pops his knuckles.

                                   EDDIE
                         Yeah. I do.

                                   PETER
                         This is going to be bad, you know
                         that right? Real bad.

                                   EDDIE
                         I've seen worse.

                                   PETER
                         I never thought it would come to
                         this. I'd tried to fix it.

                                   EDDIE
                         I know, I know.

                                   PETER
                         So, we gonna do this?

                                   EDDIE
                         I'll be waiting...

               Eddie gives Peter one last look before he turns and walks
               down the hallway. Peter follows, but as he reaches the door
               MAY appears, startled as she finds herself facing Peter.

                                   MAY
                         Peter, is everything okay?

                                   PETER
                         Yeah, Aunt May. Everything's fine.

                                   MAY
                         You guys fix the toilet yet?

               Off Peter's bemused expression:

                                                                CUT TO:

               INT. PARKER HOME - BATHROOM

               Eddie is already standing in the doorway, looking down at a
               flooded floor. He pulls a bandana out from his pocket an
               wraps it around his face.

               Peter enters behind him, sighing at the sight before him.

                                   EDDIE
                         Dude, this is pretty rank. But
                         nonetheless, I am definitely
                         impressed. Seriously...
                             (sniffs the air)
                         Is that chili I smell?

               Peter shakes his head.

                                   EDDIE
                         What happened?

                                   PETER
                         Um...

                                                                CUT TO:

               INT. PARKER HOME - BATHROOM - THE NIGHT BEFORE

               Peter bursts in, wearing his SPIDER-MAN costume, minus the
               mask. It's obviously late night.

                                   PETER
                         All that for a bucket of chicken?
                         What happened to crooks who set
                         their sights high?

               He looks down at his left hand and realizes that something is
               wrong. He pulls his glove off and realizes the web-shooter is
               busted, leaking web-fluid all over his arm and costume.

                                   PETER
                         Ah, crap.

               He pulls his shirt off, fighting with the long strands of
               webbing sticking to him. There's a knock at the door.

                                   MAY (O.S.)
                         Peter? Is everything okay?

               Peter grabs a towel and turns the water on, throwing the
               costume to the side. The web shooter continues to leak as he
               opens the door, peeking out at May.

               INT. PARKER HOME - BATHROOM/HALLWAY

               Peter opens the door and smiles at May.

                                   MAY
                         I didn't hear you come in.

                                   PETER
                         Got dirty playing football. Just
                         taking a quick shower.

                                   MAY
                             (unsure)
                         Okay... Well, dinner's ready if
                         you're hungry.

                                   PETER
                         Be down in a bit.

               She looks at his lip, which has been busted open.

                                   MAY
                         All this rough housing is taking
                         it's toll on you.

                                   PETER
                             (feels it)
                         What? Oh, it's nothing. Doesn't
                         even hurt.

               Peter gives her a reassuring smile and shuts the door. He
               goes back to the shower and tries scrubbing his hands and
               arms under the water to pull the webbing off.

               Peter finally gets some of it into clumps of webbing and
               doesn't seem to be too sure of what to do with it. He looks
               around and focus' in on the toilet.

                                                               BACK TO:

               INT. PARKER HOME - BATHROOM

               Back in the present day.

                                   PETER
                         Taco Bell...

                                   EDDIE
                         Yeah, man. That stuff can be
                         brutal. There was one time I
                         thought I was poisoned by this
                         dude. It was like a...

                                   PETER
                         Too much information! Way too much!

                                   EDDIE
                         I was a slave to the porcelain god
                         that day.

                                   PETER
                         Look, let's just get this over
                         with...

                                   EDDIE
                         You done this before?

                                   PETER
                         My uncle showed me a few things. He
                         was a handy man of sorts.

                                   EDDIE
                         Bitchin. 
                             (beat)
                         Let's do this!

               "Perfect Day" by OPM begins to play as we move into a:

               MONTAGE:

               1. Peter and Eddie mopping the floor. Eddie slips and falls.

               2. Eddie sitting on the toilet, acting like he's using the
               bathroom. Peter shakes his head with a laugh.

               3. Peter behind the toilet, Eddie hands him a wrench, which
               he promptly drops on his foot.

               4. Peter with Eddie in a headlock. Eddie taps on his
               shoulder, then elbows him in the side.

               5. They both stand back for a second, admiring their handy
               work. After a beat, water erupts from the toilet.

               That's clean water, folks. I mean, seriously...

               6. Eddie pulls out various parts from the toilet while Peter
               mops up the pool of water on the floor.

               END MONTAGE

               Peter has his arm in the toilet bowl, connecting various
               parts. He grabs something and pulls it out, revealing a large
               wad of webbing. Eddie doesn't see him and Peter quickly drops
               it into the trash can.

               Eddie turns around, surprised as the toilet flushes.

                                   EDDIE
                         Oh dear God, we did it.

               Peter stands up and grabs a bottle of rubbing alcohol. He
               pours it all over his arms.

                                   PETER
                         I hope I didn't have any cuts.

                                   EDDIE
                         No worries, it won't kill you.
                         You're like, Spider-Man.

               Peter freezes. He looks up at Eddie.

                                   PETER
                         What?

                                   EDDIE
                         I've seen all the cuts and bruises,
                         dude. They'd kill a normal man.

               Peter stares blankly, nervously.

                                   EDDIE
                         A joke. Dude, you are way too lame
                         to be Spider-Man.

               Peter breathes a sigh of relief smiles. He reaches in and
               turns on the shower.

                                   EDDIE
                         Look, I don't know what kind of
                         friends you think we are, but...

               Peter laughs. He tosses Eddie a wrench.

                                   PETER
                         Go get cleaned up. Lunch is on me.

                                   EDDIE
                         Kick ass. I don't know about you,
                         but I am definitely in the mood for
                         ground beef.

                                   PETER
                         I'm not even gonna dignify that
                         with a response...

                                   EDDIE
                             (grins)
                         Later.

               Eddie moves for the door.

                                   PETER
                         Meet you there in twenty.

                                   EDDIE
                         Sounds like a plan.

               Eddie exits, closing the door behind him. Peter looks into
               the trash can, at the mass of webbing.

                                   PETER
                         Just another day as Spider-Man...

               Off Peter:

                                                              FADE OUT.



                                       THE END

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