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Author Topic: Tomb Raider (with Pilot)  (Read 14633 times)

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Offline Chris Davis

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Tomb Raider (with Pilot)
« on: Sun Nov 2 2014, 23:04 »


Loosely based on the video game franchise of the same name
Developed by Brady Brown & Chris Davis

Five years have passed since Lara Croft became the sole survivor of a plane crash in the Himalayan Mountains, which killed her mother upon impact. The tragedy served as the start of a new life for Lara, as she began to fully realize her one true love - adventure!

Abandoning the comfortable world of aristocracy, and dedicating her life to global exploration and intrigue, she makes use of her family's wealth by traveling the world, raiding centuries old tombs to uncover the most ancient of artifacts, and rarest of relics.

Assisting her in her exploits are; her closest friend, a historian named Simone Yates, sharp-witted, computer specialist, Colin Blake, as well as Nigel Fleming, her wise, shotgun-toting butler. Establishing herself as a world-renown archaeologist - one adventure at a time - Lara makes a living tracking down rare artifacts for those willing to pay.

Meanwhile, Lara is contacted by a wealthy, influential family in India - in need of her unique set of skills, to acquire a priceless gem in the heart of an ancient tomb. The simple heist turns into something quite more, as Lara becomes entangled in a war between two powerful, unknown forces, who eagerly want the gem for their own nefarious purposes. Determined to keep the gem from falling into the wrong hands, Lara and her team must protect it, all the while trying to figure out what makes it so important that good men and women have died trying to obtain it.



CAST & CHARACTERS



Mid-twenties, and already a world-renown archeologist, Lara Croft (Katrina Law) travels the world in search of priceless, ancient artifacts, making a living off of adventure. Lara lost her mother five years ago in a plane crash, and her father went missing on an expedition a few months later, making her very hesitant about intimate relationships and letting people in. She chooses her friends carefully, and trusts only a handful of people. Lara is fearless, strong-willed, and sometimes, stubborn. She’s also extremely quick on her feet, being able to enter the most complex and dangerous situations without an exit strategy, and come out mostly unscathed. Being an expert in over a dozen hand-to-hand combat styles, showing exemplary skill in acrobatics, having knowledge of most ancient and modern weapons, as well as possessing an almost genius level intellect, make Lara Croft one of the best at what she does.



A thirty-something, former U.S Marine and family man, turned hired gun, Carmine DeMarco (DJ Cotrona) is a man with a dark and complicated past. After losing his wife and son in an accident he believes himself responsible for, Carmine left his old life behind, looking for a fresh start. Egocentric, forthright and short-tempered, Carmine isn't a man with many real friends. Always on the move, and always on the look out for the next job, joining Lara's team is quite the change of pace for him. He becomes interested in Lara after their paths cross in India, and sometimes accompanies her on missions. Skilled in both armed and unarmed combat, fluent in foreign languages ranging from German to Archaic Latin, and possessing high-to-low level contracts from across the globe, Carmine is useful to Lara and her journey in more ways than one, even though she doesn't like to admit it. But as a mercenary, can he really be trusted?



Early-thirties and already ahead of most scholars in her field, Simone Yates (Gugu Mbatha-Raw) is a historian with a focus on pre-historic legends and mythological artifacts, including relics, weapons, armor, and clothing. Graduating from the School of Archaeology at Oxford University, Simone continued her studies outside of school by becoming a curator for a small museum in London. Due to her keen interest in the fantastical elements of ancient history, she uses her intelligence to prepare Lara for his missions, not only making her one of the most important members of her team, but also one of her closest friends. Simone is a quite sensitive, opinionated and ambitious perfectionist - she's grown accustomed to being the very best at everything she does, and begins to develop an self-conscious and even envious streak when she compares herself to Lara, which may get in the way of their friendship. 



Early-twenties, and recently graduating at the top of his class from the University of Cambridge, Colin Blake (Robert Sheehan) is a computer technology specialist and an expert in biotechnological and chemical engineering. He personally designs many of the gadgets and weapons that Lara utilizes on her adventures. His skills prove vital for Lara, as he is also able to access confidential information to further assist her on his missions. Sarcastic, brutally honest, and somewhat childish, Colin prefers to keep himself unfiltered, not afraid to say exactly what's on his mind at any given moment. Colin doesn't discuss his past very often, but even though he seemingly has it all - there are many demons he struggles to keep locked and buried away.



On a mission that goes fatally wrong, nineteen year old, Asha Jhaveri (Naomi Scott) is taken in by Lara and her team, becoming Lara's protege, of sorts. A youthful rebel with a thirst for adventure, and an a knack for getting herself into dangerous situations, Asha finds herself looking up to Lara in more ways than one. Asha is trusting, compassionate, eager to please,  but her lack of experience makes it difficult to incorporate herself into Lara’s team. Not wanting to feel like the helpless girl she's been all her life, she makes it her mission to study Lara's every move, in hopes of one day becoming a world renown adventurer, as well.



Employed by the Croft family for nearly two decades and close friends with them for longer than that, Nigel Fleming (Anthony Head) is the butler at Croft Manor and a former explorer himself. Though years older than him, Nigel grew up with Lara's father, Ricard Croft and became somewhat of an older brother to him. When Richard went missing after the death of his wife, Nigel made it is duty to see to it that Lara is looked after. Having vast knowledge of the medical field, he tends to any injuries Lara and her team happen to sustain. Nigel is also there to provide wisdom and guidance to Lara, who he has come to see as the daughter he never had. On the surface, Nigel may appear to be a proper gentlemen, but underestimating him would be a very grave mistake.



RECURRING CHARACTERS



Karim Al Sadat (Rami Malek) is Lara’s vehicle and transportation expert/mechanic. He oversees all of Lara’s travel details and even flies her private jet and yacht. With contacts all over the world, Karim makes sure Lara has what she needs for her cross country explorations. Karim is extremely laid back, easy going and doesn't ask too many questions. He does complain about long hours or dangerous environments - all he cares about is traveling, and Lara's lifestyle allows him to do just that.



EPISODES

1.01 - "NAVARATNA" - Since escaping from the Himalayas in an accident that killed her mother, Lara Croft has been hunting ancient artifacts for the past five years. With her own team of specialists assisting her, she's been able to make a living off of adventure. After being hired by the Jhaveri’s to recover an ancient gem to complete a Navaratna, a priceless talisman made up of nine precious gemstones, Lara must travel to an island off the coast of India, where the stone is rumored to be hidden. However, upon arrival, she encounters something she never thought she would - another explorer, which may lead to her becoming a major player in the quest of a lifetime!

LINK TO PILOT (First Draft)



GENERAL NOTES

This project is something that seemed to happen overnight. Brady and I had been trying to write something together for months, but nothing really took off the way we wanted it to. Then, jokingly, we started discussing a Tomb Raider VS, because we both love the games, and before we knew it, we had a finish pilot in under 48 hours.

"Tomb Raider" is a big franchise to mess with, and we want to stay true to it as much as possible, while putting our own spin on things. We decided instead of making this series a direct adaption on the games, we'd sort of reboot the franchise all together, picking a few major aspects from the original story, while having the freedom to tweak and add our own mythology.

As of right now, we've only got a pilot, but we're thinking a first season would consist of six episodes. We do have a rough idea of where the season is heading, and are on our way to outline it all. Trying to think of anything else to say, but can't. So, if you have any questions, feel free to comment below! And if you feel like reading the pilot, all constructive criticism is welcome! We are currently working on a second draft, to fix some of the errors that have already been pointed out.
« Last Edit: Mon Nov 3 2014, 02:28 by Chris Davis »



Offline Harper

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Re: Tomb Raider (with Pilot)
« Reply #1 on: Mon Nov 3 2014, 02:50 »
It's a cool idea, and I'll give the pilot a read. And miscellaneously, Katrina Law is a pretty awesome fancast.

Offline Vaughn

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Re: Tomb Raider (with Pilot)
« Reply #2 on: Mon Nov 3 2014, 19:20 »
Katrina Law has definitely got the looks and the physicality, judging by Arrow.

It's a great pitch Chris, very polished. My initial worry is that it lacks a really original hook to it, but good execution of the idea can always make a concern like that go away.

Hope to see lots of people check this out!

Online Matt Latham

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Re: Tomb Raider (with Pilot)
« Reply #3 on: Mon Nov 3 2014, 20:07 »
She needs a better British accent, though.

Offline Pete D. Gaskell

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Re: Tomb Raider (with Pilot)
« Reply #4 on: Mon Nov 3 2014, 23:36 »
Well played sirs - Ms Croft is certainly a hot property again these days, and you can't beat some good ol' tomb raiding adventure!

I'll give the pilot a read soon - but I would be happy to see this go into initial development as it stands based on what I've seen so far!

Keep on planning out the finer details, and I'm sure we'll contact you in due course!

Offline Chris Davis

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Re: Tomb Raider (with Pilot)
« Reply #5 on: Tue Nov 4 2014, 01:48 »
It's a cool idea, and I'll give the pilot a read. And miscellaneously, Katrina Law is a pretty awesome fancast.

Thanks, Harper! Looking forward to hearing your thoughts. Took a while to narrow down an actress for Lara. Katrina came out ahead of about fifteen others.

Katrina Law has definitely got the looks and the physicality, judging by Arrow.

It's a great pitch Chris, very polished. My initial worry is that it lacks a really original hook to it, but good execution of the idea can always make a concern like that go away.

Hope to see lots of people check this out!

Thanks, Vaughn! That's something we were a bit worried about as well. Our original idea was to bring Lara into the story after losing her memory, and the show would be follow her journey toward getting back to her old self, but in hindsight we realized that wouldn't really work.

I think with this version, it's not too much of a procedural, but each season would have a new, self-contained arc, with little connection to the last. But we're also thinking an overarching storyline could come about at a later point. Obviously, we're still in development and working out the kinks. But thanks for the support!

She needs a better British accent, though.

We figured we might get into trouble for casting an American, but we really did try to come up with a British actress, if that's any consolation.  :laugh:

Well played sirs - Ms Croft is certainly a hot property again these days, and you can't beat some good ol' tomb raiding adventure!

I'll give the pilot a read soon - but I would be happy to see this go into initial development as it stands based on what I've seen so far!

Keep on planning out the finer details, and I'm sure we'll contact you in due course!

Thanks for the support, Pete! Looking forward to anymore feedback you can give. We know the pilot's not perfect, but we're really enthusiastic about this project, and are willing to put in the work to make it better. :)

Offline Tom East

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Re: Tomb Raider (with Pilot)
« Reply #6 on: Tue Nov 4 2014, 11:21 »
Haven't gotten around to the pilot yet but I have to say that from the pitch alone this looks really promising and something I'd love to read. Good work, guys! :D

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Re: Tomb Raider (with Pilot)
« Reply #7 on: Tue Nov 4 2014, 17:41 »
I'll add my voice to the praise here, gentlemen. I've read the first half of the pilot, stand by for proper comments soon.

Offline Stevie_G

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Re: Tomb Raider (with Pilot)
« Reply #8 on: Tue Nov 4 2014, 18:17 »
I've just given this script a read over.  While I'm no expert on the franchise (I have seen the films), I enjoyed this opening episode and leaves a lot open for more to follow.  The pace was about right, the action as I'd expect from the Lara Croft character, the settings wonderfully described and the characters come off pretty well - Nigel is great I'll say and perfect call for Anthony Head to play him.

A few minor errors picked up on while reading - I'll send you a PM as nothing major on what I found, but overall I think this could become a great virtual series if given a chance as the scope for a series like this could take it anywhere and everywhere.  For me, I'd be interested in reading more if given the go-ahead.

Offline Chris Davis

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Re: Tomb Raider (with Pilot)
« Reply #9 on: Tue Nov 4 2014, 19:17 »
Thanks for the support, guys! Looking forward to your comments, Adam! thup

I've just given this script a read over.  While I'm no expert on the franchise (I have seen the films), I enjoyed this opening episode and leaves a lot open for more to follow.  The pace was about right, the action as I'd expect from the Lara Croft character, the settings wonderfully described and the characters come off pretty well - Nigel is great I'll say and perfect call for Anthony Head to play him.

A few minor errors picked up on while reading - I'll send you a PM as nothing major on what I found, but overall I think this could become a great virtual series if given a chance as the scope for a series like this could take it anywhere and everywhere.  For me, I'd be interested in reading more if given the go-ahead.

Thanks for giving it a read! Your feedback is very helpful! I'm glad you enjoyed Nigel's character. He wasn't given all that much in the pilot, but we do have some pretty cool plans for his character. If this goes ahead, you should see him getting a lot more focus and development.

Just took a look at the PM and will get to correcting those errors right away. Thanks for pointing them out! I probably could have given the script a more thorough proofread.

Offline Brady Brown

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Re: Tomb Raider (with Pilot)
« Reply #10 on: Tue Nov 4 2014, 21:38 »
Thanks a lot for all of the feedback, guys! It really, really means a lot. Also, thanks for giving it a read, Stevie! And if others are reading/hoping to read it, I hope you enjoy it! :)

Adam

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Re: Tomb Raider (with Pilot)
« Reply #11 on: Mon Nov 10 2014, 15:22 »
Apologies for the slightly later review than anticipated gents (been away for the weekend) so I've finally been able to get around to this. And frankly, I'm impressed.

The story's nice and straightforward, which is what you need in a pilot and here it's used to good effect to set up the characters. Of these I'd say Lara, Nigel and Colin probably come out the best - Lara's kept front and centre, as she should be and her backstory's nicely established. I love the idea that she seems like she's going to end up being a surrogate mother figure to Asha, that's a great little idea there's bags of potential with where that could go. There's a lot of characters in here but they all get well established - Simone being the one exception, she seemed a little bit like she was there just to spout the exposition so a little work on that character wouldn't go amiss. There's an intriguing mystery set up (though I did call the twist at the end, but that's not to say that couldn't go some interesting places).  The action was handled well and it was a very easy read, I completed the whole thing in about half an hour. Lots to recommend.

A few downsides - the teaser felt a little bit flat, though I'm not sure what to suggest as a solution there. There's a few SPAG errors in there as well - Lara gets renamed 'Lana' in dialogue a few times, so that could do with tidying up. And for all it's a quick read, it's a little on the long side - I think you could probably bring it down to closer to sixty pages just through giving the scene directions a bit of a tidy-up.

All of that being said though, this is a great pilot and a very enjoyable read, and something I suspect would make a great series. Why we've never had a proper Tomb Raider VS on this site before is beyond me. I thoroughly enjoyed this and I'd love to see a whole series.

Must do something about that... ;)

Offline Chris Davis

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Re: Tomb Raider (with Pilot)
« Reply #12 on: Mon Nov 10 2014, 18:51 »
Apologies for the slightly later review than anticipated gents (been away for the weekend) so I've finally been able to get around to this. And frankly, I'm impressed.

No problem, Adam! Glad you were able to give it a read! :)

Quote
The story's nice and straightforward, which is what you need in a pilot and here it's used to good effect to set up the characters. Of these I'd say Lara, Nigel and Colin probably come out the best - Lara's kept front and centre, as she should be and her backstory's nicely established. I love the idea that she seems like she's going to end up being a surrogate mother figure to Asha, that's a great little idea there's bags of potential with where that could go. There's a lot of characters in here but they all get well established - Simone being the one exception, she seemed a little bit like she was there just to spout the exposition so a little work on that character wouldn't go amiss. There's an intriguing mystery set up (though I did call the twist at the end, but that's not to say that couldn't go some interesting places).  The action was handled well and it was a very easy read, I completed the whole thing in about half an hour. Lots to recommend.

Good to hear you enjoyed those characters, and I completely understand your thoughts on Simone. Her and Colin provided a lot of the exposition is this episode, but Colin has a more 'out-there' personality, whereas Simone is more reserved, so that definitely showed in her characterization, or lack thereof. I'll try to bring it out a bit more so she's more than just a talking head.

In relation to that mystery we've set up; it's the first of many, I'd say. We haven't finished planning the back half of the season, but we've got a few more surprises to throw at you yet.

Quote
A few downsides - the teaser felt a little bit flat, though I'm not sure what to suggest as a solution there. There's a few SPAG errors in there as well - Lara gets renamed 'Lana' in dialogue a few times, so that could do with tidying up. And for all it's a quick read, it's a little on the long side - I think you could probably bring it down to closer to sixty pages just through giving the scene directions a bit of a tidy-up.

Damn, I thought I'd fixed that. I'm just coming off a project where the main character's name was "Lana," so it's almost second nature to me. Will keep an eye out for that in the future. Also, it is on the long side, so I'll go through the script for one last edit job - see if I can trim a few things down.

Quote
All of that being said though, this is a great pilot and a very enjoyable read, and something I suspect would make a great series. Why we've never had a proper Tomb Raider VS on this site before is beyond me. I thoroughly enjoyed this and I'd love to see a whole series.

Must do something about that... ;)

Thanks so much for the read/review, Adam! Can't tell how you glad we are you enjoyed it. We're very much interesting in pursuing this series, and have already began planning the remainder of season one. :)

Offline D.J Page

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Re: Tomb Raider (with Pilot)
« Reply #13 on: Sat Sep 12 2015, 23:22 »
So I have read that last week and, I must say, I am so very excited to read more.

I liked all the characters, the snarky dialogues and the flow was very well done. It did remind me of the games pacing, more spefically the older ones. I was reading from start to end and was so sad when it ended, I just wanted more. The fact that the characters all have their little traits that sets them apart, it helps making me want to get to know more about them, especially Simone who might be my favourite for the moment; as well as Lara of course!

Any idea when the rest will follow ? I am way too excited for this :p

Offline Chris Davis

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Re: Tomb Raider (with Pilot)
« Reply #14 on: Mon Sep 14 2015, 00:41 »
So I have read that last week and, I must say, I am so very excited to read more.

I liked all the characters, the snarky dialogues and the flow was very well done. It did remind me of the games pacing, more spefically the older ones. I was reading from start to end and was so sad when it ended, I just wanted more. The fact that the characters all have their little traits that sets them apart, it helps making me want to get to know more about them, especially Simone who might be my favourite for the moment; as well as Lara of course!

Any idea when the rest will follow ? I am way too excited for this :p

Thanks for giving it a read, D.J! So glad you enjoyed it. We've got 5 of 6 episodes written for season one. We hope to get the season finale done soon, so once that happens, we should be ready to go.

Also, I think you might be the first to point out Simone as a favorite, so I'm really happy about that! :)
« Last Edit: Mon Sep 14 2015, 00:41 by Chris Davis »

Offline Tony Black

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Re: Tomb Raider (with Pilot)
« Reply #15 on: Mon Sep 14 2015, 06:37 »
We're very excited for this to be a big, scripted MZP release for the end of 2015 or the start of 2016 - you guys are gonna love it.